be honest, be confident, be flexible

Insomnia

2005-11-13T04:20:00.000-08:00

I cannnot sleep!! I CANNOT sleep!
It's now over 4 am in NY.
Recently I've lived in a world where day and night are reversed.
That's why I missed the chance of the sale!!
Until today, the shop where I wanted to go had discount sale.
When I got there, the shop had already been closed.
What did I come here for??

Because of the today's lesson, I decided to go to bed before midnight and tried.
However, I ended up using computer now 'cause I couldn't sleep!!

Somebody, tell me how to turn back to normal life!! I mean unreversed life.

The legend of Zorro

2005-11-01T01:35:00.000-08:00

You know Zorro? He broke the silence of 7 years and returned from 'The Mask of Zorro'!!

Antonio Banderas who acts as Zorro is now 45 years-old, but the skill of fancing is amazing!! Catherine Zeta-Jones who was fresh beauty in the previous film has now dignified figure as an actress.

I'm gonna see this as soon as possible!! It's a pity that you guys in Japan cannot see this until next January. Are you envious?

Elizabethtown

2005-10-21T01:47:00.000-07:00

These days I'm mad about Orlando Bloom! He's so cute, isn't he? What made me change my mind is this movie, ELIZABETHTOWN! Before seeing this movie, I didn't even know why he was so popular. However, now I've even bought this movie's soundtrack CD, which is also very good! Maybe I'm more crazy about this movie than you'd expect, 'cause my present screen saver is installed from this movie's site. Besides, my computer wallpaper is also from this movie. In this movie, Kirsten looks really cute!! I've never thought she was beautiful, but in this movie she looks enchanting!! I want you guys to see this movie, 'cause you'll feel that even though we're totally depressed because of worldwide fiascos, we can find a tiny seed whose name is POSITIVE. The process by which Orlando is attracted to Kirsten is also empathetic. I took a longing look at their relationship.

Anyway, I highly recommend this movie to you!!

Be honest, Be confident, Be flexible.

2005-08-20T01:58:00.000-07:00

I've thought I wanted to be strong. I never want to be affected by thoughts which I think are stupid. I never want to do things which deviate from my faith, whoever may look on me coldly. I never want to take my eyes off my goals. I want to be a person who is responsible for what he/she says and does.

Everyday is full of worries and mistakes, but through repeating them I'm getting to know how to be as I am and what I should do next.

I'm not intending to deny other ways. I just wanna keep my faith though I wish I had more sense of balance as I always trip and despair in my akwardness.I wish...I wish... If I start to say I want to get what I don't have,there's no end in sight.The important thing is to accept myself as I am and be positive. I believe the way will open and the wind will blow the right way.

heritage

2005-08-12T02:31:00.000-07:00

I went through another farewell again. I have to face "encounters and farewells" incredibly frequently. The last time I saw them, I felt it was unreal. I can't believe that we won't be able to have conversations face to face for quite a while. I realize this fact when I'm alone in the subway and in my room.Even though our whole conversation was disjointed talk, when I go back to the time that I first met them and spent time with them, I feel too sad to keep from crying.

Each tiny pain in my heart would be a precious heritage in my life.

I wish...

2005-08-12T01:57:00.000-07:00

I wish I could simplify my way of thinking.
I wish I could get through everyday thinking only pleasant things.

"To discard what I don't need would make life simpler."
I know it's not acceptable thinking. I know,but...
To win the battle to survive is sometimes incredibly difficult.

quit

2005-07-15T01:55:00.000-07:00

I decided not to think too much. Yeah, I always think too much to the extent that it's not required. It's one of my faults. Now!! Quit it immediately!! Let's try to think only about something joyful!!

welcome party

2005-07-07T02:38:00.000-07:00

The welcome party is just a PIZZA eating party which we have every month. Anyway, I talked with many new students. I had fun, but at the same time, I felt a little weird. I face this feeling at the begining of every month. This month isn't any different. The cause is the feeling that I miss my friends who left last month. Until a few days ago, they were here, but they aren't here anymore. Meeting people is a kind of miracle. I love that, but farewells are always hard. I know I have to adapt myself to new environments;however, I tend to indulge in reminiscences.

Independence Day

2005-07-05T02:14:00.000-07:00

07/04 is Independence DAY. Today,Fire work took place.

Those photos' photographer is T , one of my Japanese friends. THey are so nice pictures. Right??.She saw the event from East side of Manhattan,so she could take pictures more clearly than me, I went to NJ to see night view of Manhattan.From there, fire works themselves were less great than Japanese one,but I felt how luxurious it was. I was in NJ and see both Mahattan view and fireworks. It's not easy experience for all Japanese nor for everone in the world. I owe it to my parents that I'm here.I have to be thankful to them.

Small trip to Atlantic CIty

2005-07-02T01:44:00.000-07:00

I went to Atlantic City!! I was invited by one of my friends because he needed one more person for the trip. The participants on the trip were very nice Korean guys and girls, so I decided to go with them. That's why I didn't even know the destination until I got there. Atlantic City is located in NJ and it took us 2 hours and a half from Manhattan by bus. The city is famous(?) for it's CASINO. We enjoyed the atmosphere,but if you compared it with LAS VAGAS it would be like a toy.I've never been there,so it's just what I am guessing.

Obviously, I was not supposed to win. I'm always a loser in gambling. On the other hand, one of us, whose participation was decided suddenly(one hour before the departure!!) won!! He made money;$80!! I think he was destined to come here in advance. His existence on the trip was taken for granted in order to make money for us(He treated us with the money!!).

We also went to the beach!! Unfortunately, the temperature of the sea was too cold so we couldn't swim, nor could we have a dip in the sea. Instead, we played in the sand. I felt I went back to my childhood!! After that, we had a nice meal at Atlantic City's Hard Rock Cafe. Then,we bet again and lost money, but one guy who won yesterday won again!! We discovered that he was a real gambler!!

NY night life

2005-06-26T14:28:00.000-07:00

I was sleeping, sleeping and sleeping until 6 pm. It's allowed today because today's schedule was to go to a night-club with one Korean girl and one Japanese person!! It was disappointing because the Korean girl changed her mind suddenly and decided not to come. Sudden cancellations shouldn't be allowed,should they? If the cause was sickness or an emergency, I would understand. Is it a problem which is dealt with by ''cultural differences''? Ok, today was ok 'cause we found another guy who wanted to join us. But!! If we hadn't found a replacement, what would we have done? Today's DJ was famous, so the ticket price was expensive and non-refundable. I paid the admission fee on the Internet in advance!! I don't think this matter should be sorted out by cultural issues. PLEASE BE CONSIDERATE!! DO NOT CHANGE YOUR MIND SUDDENLY!! IT'S REALLY ANNOYING!!

Anyway, LET'S COME TO THE POINT; night life. OOOOHhhh, before coming to the theme, I have to mention the restaurant where we went!! It's located on 9th Ave and 46th Street, which is called 'Restaurant Row'. It was small, but it was affordable and delicious!! It was the best food I've ever had in NY!!

The club was much more spacious than our expectations!! The capacity is 3000 people!! To be honest, I wasn't so fond of the house music, but I was able to enjoy the atmosphere 'cause the interior design was so nice!! During my stay in NY I must enjoy NY nights!!

complicated...

2005-06-14T01:52:00.000-07:00

It happens at the begining of every month. I knew and know it. It can't be helped. I miss friends who were there until just a couple of weeks ago. I can't get used to this new situation.I feel as if I'm in a pool where my legs can't reach the bottom. I try to swim(as you know, I'm not good at swimming), but on the way I give up swimming and fall into the water. This session makes me feel especially tight. Teachers whom I respected don't take our classes any more. Many students of one nationality came here. That's why the atmosphere totally changed. Even though I've been here for two monthes, I feel this is an unknown world. I'm always confused in my feelings. I'm eager to talk with old friends,but I know i shouldn't be inside my memory and I should open my heart to the new circumstances. I just always feel there's something missing. I'm not confident enough to continue this session. Am I being tested by this to see if I have a good character?? I don't know what to do. Though I feel I want to get out of here, my mind shouts at me "Don't give up. Never give up." I get more and more complicated....

Regarding Hendy

2005-05-12T12:30:00.000-07:00

This is one of the most impressive movie I've ever seen. Why I am suddenly writing about this is that this is the first time I've noticed the English title. It's translated into 'TRIP OF HEART'in Japanese. It's so different,isn't it?

The main actor is Harrison Ford who acts as a lawer in this film. He is successful in his career and makes a lot of money, but his familly, especially his daughter, doesn't feel they are happy because of his lack of humanity.

HOWEVER, out of the blue, he is accidently hit by a stray bullet. He loses all his memory. He restarts his life with his family's support. Through the process, he restores his humanity and gets to know his daughter's and wife's feelings. Although their life is getting poorer financially, their life is getting wealthier mentally. This movie reminds us what is important in life. It would be something we can't buy with money. I recommend this movie to you!! YOU MUST SEE IT!!

Book Junkie

2005-04-27T12:28:00.000-07:00

I badly want books!! I need books and I'm eager to read books.Am I like a book junkie?? The book I finished reading just before coming to NY was excellent!! The title was RETRIBUTION written by Jilliane Hoffman and I read the translation, but I really wanna read the original. This book is a courtroom drama and fiction dealing with police work, which is full of suspense and of female psychology. No doubt, it'll make you satisfied!! And I also want to try to read John Grisham's books.I like mystery stories. Anyway,time to get started.

MoMA

2005-04-20T12:30:00.001-07:00

Can you see the guy who is standing on the left-hand side?? He was in MoMa(Museum of Modern art) today. What are you doing here?Why are you wearing such stupid clothes? Yeah,you caught the attention of people as if you'd been a part of the exhibition. I was more interested in you than in MoMa itself.

I followed the rabbit like Alice In Wonderland.

Anyway, I enjoyed myself today. I was able to see Dali's paintings which I like.
You know this picture, right?

And!! I ate SUSHI here in NY!! Although it was a little different from the actual one,it was nice enough for me. It's because I've had meals at the Cafeteria whose menus always include too much fat. I feel sorry for the workers there, but the menus are disgusting to me. Please,please a lot more vegetables!! I really miss Japanese food.

Bookstores...

2005-03-12T01:25:00.000-08:00

I love to be in bookstores. The bigger the better. I'm able to stay there for more than 3 hours, reading and roaming around. I get the urge to buy all the books that I try reading every time I go to a bookstore.I WISH I could do that. Some days ago, I went to KINOKUNIYA SHOTEN, next to SHINJUKU TAKASHIMAYA and was so excited because of the amount of original English books. I have just begun to notice the excitement of reading books　written in English.It might be a sign of an improvement in my English,yah! I should keep this up. When you read novels written in English, you will get to know the differences of expession between Japanese and English.That's why reading English makes me happy. I understand being a 'translator' is quite an interesting job.

What nasty weather!!

2005-03-04T01:00:00.000-08:00

Gosh,It's snowing a lot today!! I 'm supposed to have an interview at the American embassy to get a VISA. What would you do if the train was delayed and I couldn't get there in time?? ....That guess was right, the trains are delayed and too packed. I can't even breathe.

I managed to arrive at TAMEIKESANOU-STATION. How can I get to the embassy　from here though? Oh, It's here. WOW!! What a long line!? Do I have to keep waiting outside in order to get though the securty check? You've GOT to be kidding me.Why, today of all days, do I have to have an interview? ......I ended up waiting for no less than one hour. It was outside. Can you believe that!? I KEPT WAITING OUTSIDE IN THE SNOW.They must definitly have a rethink about the place to do the security check. Otherwise,somebody could be killed by the cold. In the embassy, I was asked nothing,instead they took my finger-prints. It took me only about 5 minutes....Well... OK,I'm still alive.